Adventures in the Department of Children and Families, pt 3

I am frustrated.

I mean, really frustrated.

When I went to see my midwife last week, the secretary told me that the Medicaid ID number that the DCF gave me brought up my husband's name (It's weird because he isn't pregnant.). I asked if it was a problem for my visit that day, and she responded that no, it was fine, just call them when I get the number straightened out.

I called the DCF (AGAIN!!) to find out what had happened, thinking all the while that it was some simple misunderstanding that could be easily fixed (like, maybe they just had to switch the number to my name). No such luck.

The DCF representative whom I spoke with said that was my number and treated me like an idiot for wasting her time. I responded, "Ok, if it's my number, I need to know why my doctor brought up my husband's name instead of mine." After skirting having to actually DO something about it for a couple of minutes, she finally looked it up.

"Oh, you're right, ma'am, that does bring up your husband's name."

Told ya. "Ok, so can we fix it?"

"Has he been receiving SSI?"

"What's SSI?"

"Well if you don't know what SSI is, then probably not."

"Let me ask him... Nope, he's never applied for any sort of benefits."

"Hm. I'm showing him in the system as applying for Social Security in 2008."

"Well, his name is not correct on my account. You all have him listed with middle initial 'E,' but his middle initial is 'A.' Can that mean anything?"

"I have his address as Miami, Florida."

"Uh, no. He lives with me."

After much computer-searching and number-checking and question-asking, we established that Medicaid gave me the ID number of someone who shares my husband's first and last name and lives in Miami. The lady on the phone had the courage to suggest that it was probably my fault since I didn't give Adam's SSN when I filled out the application (information that was neither required nor necessary). I figure that yes, that's probably it; since you guys got my birthday, my name, my husband's name, and my Medicaid ID wrong, it's almost certainly all my fault.

Upon hanging up with DCF, I called the hospital on the off-chance that I could still schedule an ultrasound with the promise of giving them my insurance information as soon as it got straightened out. Nope. I can't schedule an ultrasound without my ID number, nor can I have my blood work done.

I get to call DCF again tomorrow (GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS) to see if anyone took pity on my case of mistaken identity and decided to fix my problem. I am perplexed by these people...how has everything gone so wrong?

And the Midwife Said...

I went to my midwife for the first time yesterday. Delightfully, I was not chewed out for not going in sooner, and in fact, they didn't say a word about it. They did all the gross, icky girl stuff that would have made Adam uncomfortable, so I had him wait in the lobby. The only thing that was fun that he missed was the baby's heartbeat (which was really strong and completely normal!). No worries, though, for I am scheduling a sonogram soon where he will be able to hear and see all the cool stuff.

I still have to have all my blood work done, but I am unconcerned because they are mostly checking for diseases that I know I don't have. The only one that I don't know about is the glucose screening test, and the only reason I'm worried about that one is because gestational diabetes is almost symptomless. Fortunately, no one in my family has had it (that I know of), and I'm not in the demographic that's generally at risk for it.

It was great news all around, and hopefully we'll be ready for incoming in 12 short weeks (third trimester starts tomorrow).

How Pregnancy is Making My Job Easier

I have learned that when I am pregnant, people are really nice to me. Students don't put up an unnecessary fuss over my tutoring. People don't aggravate me as much. Everyone tip-toes around me and doesn't complain that I have to eat and pee all the time. No one wants to upset the pregnant lady. It's kind of nice.

I also have students making a fuss over me in some of the cutest ways. I dropped a pencil the other day and this girl practically dove under the table to get it for me. People are letting me go through doors first and all manner of other chivalrous acts. It's really funny, but it's also basically awesome. After throwing up 10 times a day in the first part of my pregnancy, it's really nice to enjoy some of pregnancy's perks.

I am gigantic, though, which is less of a perk. I have gained 20 pounds so far. Only 2 of those is baby. Uh oh. So I have engaged in Pilates again, which is at least making me feel better, and it's also good for all that labor stuff I keep hearing about. I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up and find the baby already out and lying next to me, like a bear. That would be nice. I've also been thinking about how nice it would be if I could just lay an egg. Unfortunately, as a human mammal, this is the way it's done, so I'll just have to continue to grin and bear it.

I have an appointment with my mid-wife on Tuesday, which is nice because I'm almost 7 months pregnant and it's about time to make sure we're gonna be ready for take-off when the time comes.

Baby is getting really strong. 'Bout punched a hole in my liver the other day while I was tutoring. The sensation was so strong that I completely lost my train of thought in the middle of my sentence. So if anything else, we have a mighty baby.

Adventures in the Department of Children and Families pt 2

So here's the rest of the story on the DCF.

I faxed those documents on a Monday, so I sat around for a few days waiting for something to happen. I began to realize that nothing was going to happen, so I took matters into my own hands that Thursday morning. I went online again and still couldn't get into the website. Not wanting to deal with the phone menu again, I called a woman I know who happens to be a social worker at the mission I sometimes volunteer at.

This very sweet lady guided me through the phone menu options at DCF, trying to get me in touch with a representative I could talk to. 20 minutes into the menu, I finally heard the sweet sound of a ring tone. A lady picked up: "Sunco office, how may I help you?"

Sunco? "Yes, I can't get into my Access account online."

"The menu options have changed, you are in the wrong department. Click."

I would like it to be noted that this was the only point in the ordeal where I almost cried.

I had to call the sweet lady at the mission again.

She suggested to me another back door.

I couldn't get through.

I called her back.

She tried one last thing to see if I could get in, and it worked! From the time I called my friend to the time I talked to a representative, the entire thing took an hour and a half, and I never would have made it through if I hadn't known a social worker.

Now, let me back up a second and explain something to you: In order to get through the phone menu to talk to someone, you must enter your SSN and your birthdate; then they draw up your file automatically and, if they find your file, send you through to a representative. Every time I entered my number and birthdate, the automatic lady informed me that they had no file with those numbers.

Ok, moving forward again. I finally got through to talk to a representative. She asked me for my social and my birthdate. Turns out that instead of having me on file for a February birthday, they entered my birthday as June. Now, this happened because, apparently, they gave the job of data entry to a neutered opossum, who also mistyped both my middle name and my husband's (who knew you could spell "Helen" with a "J" and "Adam" with an "E"?).

Now, I wouldn't be angry if this was less important information, but I needed these FLIPPING numbers to be right or I couldn't get into the GD PHONE SYSTEM OR MY ONLINE ACCOUNT.

I typed in the June birthday to get into my online account (because it was going to take a while to correct my birthday), and it turns out that we are eligible and approved (hurray).

I have an appointment with my midwife on Valentine's day. Yippee :-)

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In other news, the baby is about 13 inches long from head to toe and weighs around 2 pounds. It's kicking really hard and wakes me up at night (a preview of things to come, I'm sure). It's getting big enough for me to feel it not only kick, but also turn around as it's starting to slide against the walls. I was starting to get confused about what I was feeling, so I looked it up to see what babies do in there. It seems that the baby gets hiccups, which I find hilariously adorable, and the other cute thing is that it's practicing walking. It just kind of soft-pedals in there against my sides, which feels weird, but if it means I'm growing a track star, then I say go for it, Tiny Human. It's supposed to open it's eyes soon, too, and supposedly it will be able to sense light when that happens.

I am going to eat food now because that's my favorite thing to do these days.