Days 22 and 23

Day 22: Created Women

Their mission: Created Women is a ministry in Tampa that focuses on women who are caught in prostitution or other sex industry and offers them a way out of the industry and a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. I urge you to watch the introductory video to their website. It really explains their vision way better than I think I could.

What you can do: Created has a many-sided approach to giving women an identity in Christ and a relationship with their community. It offers part-time work at several "micro-businesses," and there is a year-long residency program at a home for personal restoration called "The Sanctuary." $500 a month pays for one woman's residency. You can give either a one-time amount or make a monthly commitment.

Day 23: Final Day

Well, today is Christmas Eve, and I'm going to call this project complete. I feel good about the coverage I've given to the non-profits I mentioned, although I know there are many more that I would have liked to profile. I have just one last statement to make before I go put on reindeer antlers and make faces at the Baby.

Please make giving a part of your life. Don't just give because it's Christmas and you feel bad when you hear about hurricane victims or the homeless or the starving or the slaves or the oppressed while you eat turkey and open presents in a warm house. These people are hurting year-round. However bad things are for you, there's someone who has it worse.

If none of these programs spoke to you, find something that does. If you become the sort of person who gives of himself or herself, you will like yourself more. That's just the way it works. You could be the nicest person in the world with a robust self-esteem, but you will still feel better just for giving. Give your stuff, buy stuff to give, give your money. You know, that green stuff people kill for. Think of everything you earn in terms of what you will give away. Your life and our country would be better for it.

Christians: this is not an option. Give to what you care about, give to what God calls you to give, give what you can, give more than you "can." Change you life to be able to give more. This is our calling, and we can meet it with a cheerful heart!

I will probably not be back on until after the New Year, so a very merry Christmas and happy holidays, and I will see you next year!

Days 20 and 21

Day 20: Mommies Little Miracles

Their mission: Mommies Little Miracles is a preemie advocate and support group for parents of preemies in the Tampa Bay and surrounding areas. It was started in 2008, and I discovered them a couple of months after Elijah was released from the hospital. They are an incredible resource for parents who are navigating life during and after their NICU experience. We meet once a month to chat and share our experiences (and to simply unwind), and I have been so incredibly blessed to have so many moms who have been through a similar experience as I. They host parent "social nights" at a local hospital to give parents in the NICU a chance to meet each other and get their minds off of their situation, and they host an annual baby shower at the same hospital to benefit mothers who most likely never had a baby shower before having to unexpectedly give birth.

What you can do: You can donate money, (their website is still getting sorted out, but you can contact them easily enough) but you can also donate new baby gifts (clothes, towels, bathtubs... anything parents need for their infants) for their baby shower and other events. And this is just for the Tampa Area. If you have a heart for the NICU family, there are organizations all over the place that offer support for parents of premature and sick children, as well as bereaved parents. If you want to support these efforts, all you have to do is a little research to see what you can do in your area.

Day 21: Ravi Zacharias International Ministries

Their mission: RZIM states it's mission as, "to reach and challenge those who shape the ideas of a culture with the credibility of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Distinctive in its strong evangelistic and apologetic foundation, the ministry of RZIM is intended to touch both the heart and the intellect of the thinkers and influencers of society through the support of the visionary leadership of Ravi Zacharias." As a Christian and a student, I appreciate the academic and apologetic support of Christian beliefs, which is what Ravi Zacharias and his associates provide. Ravi Zacharias is a brilliant speaker and apologist, and the resource that he is to the Christian community is incredibly valuable. My husband and I have benefited from his many speeches and from those of the other speakers in his ministry. Their vision says it all: "to build a team with a fivefold thrust of evangelism, apologetics, spiritual disciplines, training, and humanitarian support so that the mandate of I Peter 3:15 might be fulfilled: to set apart Christ in our hearts as Lord and always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that is within us, with gentleness and respect, all for the glory of God."

What you can do: Donate money! That's what they need. They have events all over the world, and their resources are available to all who need them because of the donations of people who believe in the work of this ministry. If you are a Christian believer, please check out Ravi Zacharias and consider supporting their work this season and in the coming year.

Days 18 and 19

Day 18: RCMA

RCMA is an abreviation for "Redlands Christian Migrant Association." They are a childcare organization that offer quality care and education to the children of Florida's migrant farming families. They are based out of Immokalee, Florida (which, oddly, is where my husband is from) and they have branches in many farming communities across the state.

Their mission: Their website explains their vision and goals - "RCMA opens doors to opportunities through quality child care and education from crib to high school and beyond.

• To provide quality child care
• To provide children and their families with support services
• To provide educational opportunities and improve the health and general welfare of children and their families
• To involve parents in the educational process and in public policy decisions affecting their children and families
• To increase public awareness of the lifestyle of migrant and seasonal farm workers and the rural poor
• To provide opportunities and encourage the professional development of staff hired from the communities served."

They offer services to nearly 8,000 children ranging in ages from 6 weeks to 12 years. They offer charter schools, VPK and Head start programs, teen parents programs, and reading progams.

What you can do: You can donate financially to RCMA, or you can give to their reading program. They have a great emphasis on literacy and English proficiency, since many of the children who come to their programs come from Spanish-speaking homes. Many parents who speak only Spanish depend on the English proficiency of their children in order to communicate with non-Spanish speakers, so the literacy and fluency of these children are incredible assets to their families.

Elijah at about 1 month old

Day 19: Your Local NICU

So, here is another shameless plug in favor of a topic that is very personal for me. I don't have a link for you, because it has to be based on your own local hospital needs, but here's a little background.

NICUs are really dreary in a lot of ways. There's a lot of pain, fear, trauma, and other awful feelings and experiences that sort of bring the place down. There are so many sick, tiny, fragile babies and parents whose good spirits are in a similar state.

There are many things you can do for a NICU, depending on the hospital's policies. One thing is just to donate. (You can also look at my March of Dimes post, and I will be posting about a local group that I am a part of later called Mommies Little Miracles. There are many such organizations across the country). Hospitals run through money fast, so a good idea is to host a fundraiser or drive or otherwise try to raise a good chunk of money. There are other little things you can do, though, that are really nice and mean a lot to parents. You can donate clothes, blankets, toys, mobiles, swings (AND BATTERIES!), or other infant things. Because these babies are so fragile, you probably don't want to give them your used things - germs get around fast in hospitals, and it's best to limit contamination. I remember one day I came into Elijah's room and their was a little gift bag with a really nice burp cloth wrapped in ribbon. I have no idea who gave it to me - there was no note or card - but it was such a sweet gesture that I will never forget it.

Some hospitals also allow volunteers to come hold babies, especially ones that need more attention than the nurses have time to give (Elijah benefited from many such volunteer visits. He would holler pretty loudly if you weren't paying attention to him!). The hospital might prefer former or current nurses to hold the babies, but you can check their policies. It doesn't take much to really brighten the day of a baby or parent who is enduring a NICU stay of any length, so please keep these families on your mind as you do your Christmas shopping.

Days 16 and 17

Day 16: ECHO

ECHO is an acronym that stands for "Emergency Care Help Organization." It operates in my home town and serves the needs of thousands of people who have encountered an unexpected emergency (Flood, theft, home loss or destruction... whatever has happened). "Since its inception in 1987, ECHO FL  has assisted over 109,000 individuals, over half of whom were children, with the basic life necessities."

Their mission: The mission statement on their website is "To continue serving people in need of food, clothing and small household items in times of an emergency." They come alongside families who are in sudden need, and they also have homelessness assistance for those with long term needs. 

What you can do: ECHO accepts monetary donations as well as food and material donations. You can also volunteer your time to their ECHO center. You can volunteer as an individual or as part of a larger group organization like your church, youth group, or community center (If you are a high school student or are the parent of a high school student in this area, this is a good way to get community service hours.) Please consider this ministry as you are preparing for Christmas with your family this year. There are many who have lost their homes or incomes this year who could really use some Christmas cheer this season. 

Day 17: Heifer International

Their mission: According to their website, Heifer International's mission "is to work with communities to end hunger and poverty and care for the earth. [...] With gifts of livestock and training, Heifer projects help families improve their nutrition and generate income in sustainable ways. We refer to the animals as "living loans" because in exchange for their livestock and training, families agree to give one of its animal's offspring to another family in need. It's called Passing on the Gift – a cornerstone of our mission that creates an ever-expanding network of hope and peace." In countries where owning livestock can make the difference between life and death, the gift of an animal can make all the difference to a family in need.

What you can do: You can make a monetary donation, or give even more by hosting a fundraiser or otherwise advocating and raising awareness in your community. Giving livestock animals provides eggs, milk, and a means of income to families who need it. Their holiday gift catalog gives you many options for what to donate: heifers, llamas, chickens, clean water access, stoves, and a host of other necessities.


  

Days 14 and 15

Well, I've been sick, so I fell behind, but here are days 14 and 15. I have the house to myself all morning, so I'll play a little catch up and see if I can get back on track.

Day 14: March of Dimes

Their mission: The March of Dimes is a research foundation and educational resource regarding pregnancy, prematurity, and birth defects (I obviously have personal reasons for promoting them). They raise awareness and funding for prematurity, prematurity prevention, and treatment for birth defects and newborn/infant illnesses. From their website: "We help moms have full-term pregnancies and research the problems that threaten the health of babies. [...] In local communities across the country, we're helping moms take charge of their health, and supporting families when something goes wrong. The March of Dimes also acts globally: sharing best practices in perinatal health and helping improve birth outcomes where the needs are the most urgent." 

What you can do:  Donate or volunteer for the March of Dimes. You can also support the effort through advocacy and community networking and events.

Day 15: Global Hope Network International 

I love the vision of Global Hope Network. It is an organization that goes into the villages of developing nations and teaches sustainable agricultural and community-building techniques, which I think is pretty darn cool.

Their mission: From their website - "The vast, hidden majority of the world’s poorest people live in rural villages, where the vast majority of assistance never reaches. GHNI believes that it’s possible to bring not only sustainable transformation there, but also the accompanying hope of a better future, free from the perpetual cycle of poverty. Our core focus is helping villages transform themselves sustainably and holistically through our coaching-based method of Transformational Community Development (TCD). We often begin in an area by providing carefully targeted Disaster Relief in war zones or following natural disasters." Their approach for TCD is "to help villages achieve TCD Sustainability in five key areas:

Water - enough clean water for drinking, cooking and hand washing
Food - sufficient nutritious food to mitigate chronic hunger and malnutrition
Wellness - demonstration and training in critical sanitation, hygiene and disease-prevention measures
Income - startup resources for dignified and sustainable family income generation
Education – access to primary level education for every girl and boy"

 What you can do: You can make a donation or "adopt a village." If you are part of a church, civic center, or other group or community, you can advocate for your group to adopt a village by making an annual donation for the effort in a specific village. By adopting the village, your community gets direct updates about the efforts and improvements in that village, giving you the chance to build a relationship with them. 

Days 12 and 13

The holiday blogging project continues!

Day 12: The YMCA

Ok, so the Y is another non-sexy nonprofit, but I have a lot of reasons for really loving their work. One, they offer access to fitness facilities, child-care services, and health education at a rate that's affordable to anyone. Also, the values they support and implement have a wonderful effect on the communities around them, as they promote a "paying it forward" type of lifestyle.

Their mission: From their website, "The YMCA is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy spirit, mind and body for all." The Y has three major focuses: youth development, healthy living, and social responsibility. They offer classes and sports programs for children, after-school and summer meal programs, and lots of health education projects. I consider the Y to be a great asset to any community they are a part of (which are many: there are over 2,600 YMCA facilities serving 10,000 communities).

What you can do: Well, you can join, for one thing. Just becoming a part of this community strengthens it, and it plugs you into the network. From there, you can have easy access to a lot of opportunities for charitable work and giving. You can also donate, volunteer, or become an advocate for the Y and the projects they do in your area.

Day 13: Beth-El

My first love is the Good Samaritan Mission, because I have found a home there in the friendships I made and the work I did there. However, if you are totally motivated by ministries that are focused on helping migrant farm-workers and their families, here's another great mission that also does a lot of great work.

Their mission: From their homepage,  "Beth-El Mission helps farm workers achieve self-sufficiency through its open opportunities to worship, its extensive educational programs, and the many services it provides to meet basic needs." While Good Samaritan offers more job-training and social services, Beth-El offers more school-related education. They host a bilingual charter school and an RCMA childcare program. They also offer adult education, health screenings, and legal services. They have campuses in the Florida towns of Wimauma, Immokalee, and Arcadia.


What you can do:  Their website has contact information for you to inquire about their immediate needs. You can donate financially or materially, and there are many volunteer opportunities.

Days 10 and 11

Day 10: Operation Smile

Operation Smile is a medical charity that performs surgery on children around the world to repair cleft lips, cleft palates, and other facial deformities. Some cases of cleft lip or palate are so severe that the children have difficulty eating and drinking, and in many societies they face terrible rejection.

Their mission: From their website, "We work to transform the lives of children who suffer from cleft lip, cleft palate and other facial deformities. Our approach to solving the problem globally distinguishes us and is leaving a lasting legacy — and a world of smiles." The surgeries they offer these children are free of charge to their families. The procedures are often very simple, and take as little as 45 minutes, but without this medical charity, these children would face their whole lives with debilitating deformities and no solution.

What you can do: Donate financially, volunteer as a community advocate and fundraiser, or, if you happen to be a member of the medical community, volunteer your time as a medical professional. They work they do for these children is wonderful, and what a gift to give these children to have a chance at normalcy. One surgery costs about $240, to give you an idea of what they can do. You can donate $240, or smaller increments, and they have a monthly donation option. Because of the generous volunteer time of medical professionals, they are able to give these children safe, high-quality surgical care at no cost to them.

Day 11: Bridge of Hope

Did I mention how much I love Gospel for Asia? I really love Gospel for Asia. Bridge of Hope is a program within Gospel for Asia that is specifically focused on children living in India's slums. K.P. Yohannan recently released a book called No Longer a Slumdog explaining the plight of these (often homeless or orphaned) children. Read this book and cry your eyes out. I was completely heartbroken. 

Their mission: Bridge of Hope centers are located in major slum areas in Asia. Their website explains these places: "According to the Human Rights Watch, bonded labor is life for over 10 million children in India. Calcutta alone is home to more than 100,000 street children who know neither mother nor father, love nor care. They are not just numbers or statistics—they are real children. Though nameless and faceless on the streets where they live, each one was created with love and is known by God. It is doubtful they've ever held a toothbrush or a bar of soap; they've never eaten an ice-cream cone or cradled a doll. The child laborers of South Asia toil in fireworks, carpet and match factories; quarries and coal mines; rice fields, tea plantations and pastures, and even brothels. Because they are exposed to dust, toxic fumes, pesticides and disease, their health is compromised; their bodies are crippled from carrying heavy weights. Some are bonded laborers, enslaved to their tasks by family poverty."

A Bridge of Hope center offers education, medical care, a meal, and lessons about the Gospel of Christ to the children in these impoverished and oppresive situations.

What you can do:  Bridge of Hope students receive these blessings from monthly donations, which sponsor one child. $35 a month covers food, medical care, school supplies and lessons for one child. If you didn't eat out one time a month, an Asian child in abject poverty could have all of these things. It's definitely something to consider as the new year approaches.

Days 8 and 9

If you aren't familiar with my holiday charity blogging project, please take a minute to read this post I wrote describing it.

Day 8: Metropolitan Ministries

Their mission: From their website, "Metropolitan Ministries faithfully reaches out to poor, hungry and homeless men, women and children in their time of need — providing life-changing answers.Within our care, people find food, clothing, shelter, and other vital services. But more importantly they find compassion and hope – hope for a brighter day and future. The need in our community continues to grow, as it has since the Ministries began in 1972, and the Ministries’ commitment continues to grow as well.

We are committed to reaching out and providing answers that:

• help prevent homelessness
• ease hunger
• offer life-changing answers leading to self-sufficiency
• support to transition back into our community." 

Metropolitan Ministries is a charity operating out of the Tampa Bay area, so as with Good Samaritan Mission, it has the appeal for me of being a local organization that offers aid to my own community. If Tampa Bay is not local for you, please consider whatever comparable organization you could become involved in for your own community. There are many such non-profits across the country that could really use your support.

Metropolitan Ministries offers food, counseling, housing, and after school and day care for residents who are working to be freed from homelessness. Their goal is to meet the physical needs of the poor and homeless, as well as to offer job training and guidance to improving their situations. Many of their services are directed towards homeless women and children.

What you can do: Donate financially, volunteer, and donate food, clothes, and other necessities. As with most charities this season, they are in need of toys and food for the holidays, so there are many resources to help you get your donations into the hands of those that need them. Consider hosting a drive, donating items that are needed, or give in a host of other different ways. Their website makes it very easy, so please give it a look.

Day 9: Habitat for Humanity

Habitat for Humanity of Hillsborough County is the local branch for my area, but this organization has chapters all over the country. Take a look at your local Habitat for Humanity to see what they've got going on. On the website for Hillsborough County, it says that this chapter was started in 1987 and has built over 140 homes in the county.

Their mission: From their website: "The ultimate goal of Habitat for Humanity of Hillsborough County is to eliminate substandard and poverty housing and homelessness from Hillsborough County.  We build homes...build lives...and build hope.  Furthermore, all our words and actions are for the ultimate purpose of putting shelter on the hearts and minds of people in such a powerful way that poverty housing and homelessness become socially, politically and religiously unacceptable in our nations and world."

What you can do: Donate money, material goods, and/or your time, among other things. Habitat for Humanity is powered largely through volunteer work and corporate and community partnerships, so there's always a need to be met or a job to be done. 

Days 6 and 7

Moving on with my holiday charity list, we have days 6 and 7! (Anyone else think December is flying by?)

Day 6: The Salvation Army

The Salvation Army is not only an incredible charity organization, but it has a pretty cool history as well. It was founded in 1865 in England, and has done an enormous amount of charity work in the last 147 years, specifically targeting the homeless and impoverished world-wide.

Their Mission: Mission statement from their website, "The Salvation Army, an international movement, is an evangelical part of the universal Christian Church. Its message is based on the Bible. Its ministry is motivated by the love of God. Its mission is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to meet human needs in His name without discrimination." They do work that focuses on aid for the homeless, rehabilitation for prisoners, disaster relief, youth outreach, services for the elderly, and human trafficking intervention, in addition to many other functions. It's basically a one-stop shop for almost any do-gooder.

What you can do: Donate food, cars, clothes, money, and other necessities, give monetarily, and, of course, volunteer. The Salvation Army operates on a huge volunteer base. According to their site, "More than 3,400,000 individuals of all ages volunteered their time, talents, and resources to assist The Salvation Army's work in FY 2010. Our volunteers are critical partners in helping us fulfill our promise to America of 'Doing the Most Good.'" They have a resource that allows you to find a place for your time and talents. If you are reading this, consider at least dropping a $5 in the little red kettle to make the bell-ringing Santa happy this year.

Day 7: Wikipedia.org

I know, I know, it's not a very sexy recommendation, but hear me out. Wikipedia provides good-quality information on basically everything. It's the compendium of all human knowledge, and it's free, and anyone with a computer has access to it. I know that my husband practically lives on it, and not a day goes by without me using it. It basically equips even the poorest person with good information to educate himself or herself. It's also available in 285 languages.

Their mission statement is: "The mission of the Wikimedia Foundation is to empower and engage people around the world to collect and develop educational content under a free license or in the public domain, and to disseminate it effectively and globally. In collaboration with a network of chapters, the Foundation provides the essential infrastructure and an organizational framework for the support and development of multilingual wiki projects and other endeavors which serve this mission. The Foundation will make and keep useful information from its projects available on the Internet free of charge, in perpetuity."

I think this is pretty cool. So please, if you use it, throw a few bucks Wikipedia's way this year.

Day 5

Moving on with the Christmas charity list. Please read my two earlier posts and this post about my holiday blogging project, if you haven't already. 

Day 5: The Ladybug Project

The Ladybug Project was started in 2010 by a personal friend of mine from college, and it has really gotten some steam in the short while since it was established. They are currently supporting education and healthcare efforts in Equatorial Guinea and Madagascar. According to their website, they have been undertaking "innovative education and healthcare projects in [Equatorial Guinea and Madagascar], by connecting over 200 volunteers, with an impact on 2,000 people in Africa."

Their Mission: From the website, "The Ladybug Project Inc. aims to connect donations to initiatives in Equatorial Guinea and Madagascar. These projects aim to help foster educational and health infrastructure in target countries." They are currently providing school supplies to 5 educational facilities, and they are now launching a health care initiative in 2 communities, and they are hoping to have these fully operational by 2014.

What you can do: Why, donate, of course! Their website also offers a very helpful resource for those who would like to raise funds or volunteer/intern for the Ladybug project. They are also in need of any educational and/or healthcare supplies that you can offer them. 

Days 3 and 4

And the Holiday Charity List continues!

Day 3: Wellspring International 

Wellspring International is an arm of Ravi Zacharias' ministry. Ravi Zacharias is one of my very favorite people, and I have greatly benefited from his extensive body of speeches, podcasts, and books. He is an apologist, scholar, and author whom I have great respect for. I will be posting about the parent organization for Wellspring, RZIM, later in the month.

Their Mission: From the Wellspring International website, "Wellspring International was established in 2004 by Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). A humanitarian arm of the organization, Wellspring International is an extension of the central focus of RZIM, where we live out what we preach and defend. Through a process of due diligence, the vision of Wellspring is to identify and financially equip existing organizations aiding women and children at risk, as well as to provide individual scholarships to support education, healthcare, and basic living needs." Wellspring provides aid to organizations in Cambodia, India, Jordan, Kenya, Lebanon, Malaysia, South Africa, Syria, the Netherlands, and Zimbabwe.

What you can do: Donate money and host fundraisers through races, fashion shows, and whatever other means your creativity can come up with. The website provides ideas, resources, and support for starting your own fundraising campaign. You can research their various projects to make a decision on where you would like your funds to go, or you can just select "General Fund" to send your money wherever it is needed the most.

Day 4: Good Samaritan Mission

Good Samaritan Mission is another ministry that is very dear to me. Two of the directors are very dear friends of mine, and I have had the privilege of working for and with this mission in the past. I love their vision, and the fact that it is a local ministry that has a profound and beautiful impact on my community makes me have all the more affection for it.

Their mission: From their website, "The Good Samaritan Mission, Inc. is a charitable, not for profit, 501 (c) (3) Christian ministry. The Mission is dedicated to a holistic approach to enhancing the spiritual, emotional/psychological and physical quality of life of farm workers and others living in poverty. [...] Everything that we do is inspired by our love for Jesus, and is financed by private donations from friends like you." This Mission hosts a food pantry once a week, a clothes closet, a Spanish-speaking church service, after-school program, Bible studies, health and wellness resources, and a social worker to help people get the help they need. The Mission is constantly changing and adapting to the needs of the community, so please visit their website to see what new and exciting things they are up to.

What you can do: Donate, volunteer, give clothes, food, furniture, and whatever other resources you feel could be of value here. It would also be good to raise funds and awareness in your church or community. The Mission is tucked away in a little town in Florida, so the more people know about it, the more help they can give and receive. I know that they are low on many food items right now, specifically rice. Please consider making this mission a regular part of your giving this holiday season and in the coming year.

Days 1 and 2

If you have read this post, you know that I am promoting 24 different charities and non-profits between December 1 and Christmas Eve in order to encourage you to donate money instead of giving a lot of gifts this Holiday Season. I have to play a little catch-up today because I've been promoting them on my Facebook, but I haven't posted about them here yet, so here we go.

Day 1: Gospel for Asia

Gospel for Asia is by far the closest organization to Adam's and my heart. The mission of K.P. Yohannan, the founder of GFA, was singularly the strongest influence in our lifestyle decisions before and after we married. If you want your world to change, read Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan. (Found at the GFA Bookstore on their website).

Their Mission: From their website, "Our mission in life is to be devout followers of Christ and to fulfill the Great Commission among the unreached in Asia through training, sending out and assisting qualified laborers in partnership with the Body of Christ." GFA has Bible colleges that train native missionaries to teach their own people about the Gospel of Christ, which they can do for between $180-210 a month, as opposed to the $50,000 a year it costs to send a Westerner into the same regions.

They also provide valuable resources to the people in those areas, such as animals for food and profit, bicycles for the native missionaries, and church buildings, among other necessities. They can also build "Jesus Wells," which provide fresh water to the impoverished who are many times extorted by their leadership before they can have access to safe drinking water. 

What you can do: DONATE! You can give a specific amount to buy chickens, goats, Bibles, winter clothes, blankets and many other necessities to missionaries and the people they are reaching. You can also choose to sponsor a missionary for $30 a month, or just give any amount to their "Where Most Needed" option. They have made all of this extremely easy by creating a Christmas Catalog for you convenience.

Day 2: International Justice Mission

Their Mission: From their website: "International Justice Mission is a human rights agency that brings rescue to victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression. IJM lawyers, investigators and aftercare professionals work with local officials to secure immediate victim rescue and aftercare, to prosecute perpetrators and to ensure that public justice systems - police, courts and laws - effectively protect the poor." 

"More children, women and men are held in slavery right now than over the course of the entire trans-Atlantic slave trade: Millions toil in bondage, their work and even their bodies the property of an owner.
Trafficking in humans generates profits in excess of 32 billion dollars a year for those who, by force and deception, sell human lives into slavery and sexual bondage. Nearly 2 million children are exploited in the commercial sex industry. The AIDS pandemic continues to rage, and the oppression of trafficking victims in the global sex trade contributes to the disease's spread.In many countries around the world, pedophiles find that they can abuse children with impunity." 

What you can do: Donate, Volunteer, Campaign, etc. There are many, many ways you can get involved in this effort to end slavery world-wide. Human trafficking is despicable, and I pray that we can be a generation that is known for fighting it, and fighting it hard. 

24 Days: I have made a holiday decision.

What if, when someone asked you 'what you want for Christmas,' you asked for a donation in your name to a charity? What if you made an agreement with your family and friends to exchange donations in each others' honor instead of trying to 'come up with something' to ask for? What if you made a donation in the memory of a family member or friend whom you've lost?

We have a lot of thingies. We pile them in our garages and attics and closets and bag them up to get rid of them every few years to make room for more thingies. Instead of giving piles of toys and clothes and doo-dads to people who already have everything, we should really be spending a lot of that money on people who are hurting, starving, or oppressed this year.

For this reason, I'm going to promote some of my favorite ministries, missions, and non-profit organizations on my Facebook and this blog everyday from now to Christmas Eve and make it my mission to encourage people to set aside at least some of their Christmas excess for those who are in desperate need. I'll post the missions and non-profits on Facebook and offer more detailed promotions on this blog.

You don't have to choose to support anything that I post (although I would love it if you would), but I do challenge you to find something dear to your heart that you can promote with your wallet as well as with your words. Please don't think of 'being charitable' as optional. Think instead that this is our duty as one of the wealthiest societies in the world, and, for Christians, this is especially applicable. If you call yourself a follower of Christ, I urge you to put your money where your mouth is.

This doesn't mean you can't give your family members anything. Make something for them and wrap it and give it as a gesture of love. Spend time together. Start a new tradition. Cook and eat together. Build holiday memories that can bring your family or your home closer together.  

I'm not saying anything you won't find in every Christmas movie ever. 

So, really, people. Let's be serious about this.
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Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;  for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. [...] No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. Matthew 6:19-24 (NASB)
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Humbug

The holidays are upon us. You know what that means - cookies, weight gain, lights, and the monstrous cancer of unresolved family drama bubbling back up to the surface of our repressed, oh-so-very repressed, psyches.

Fa la la la... ah, whatever.

I was reading this article about Andy Stanley and his father, Charles Stanley. I had no idea who these people were before reading the article, but apparently they are Southern Baptist giants of one kind or another. Basically, the father was a big Baptist preacher, and his son looked like he was going to follow in his footsteps. After a divorce that caused an earthquake of controversy in their church, the father felt like his son was not being supportive of him, so the father responded by being combative in a passive-aggressive, work-his-personal-problems-into-his-sermons kind of way. The son wound up leaving the church and starting his own, and their relationship was wounded for years.

It saddened me that, first, they were both so childish. Neither of them would talk to the other and explain himself. It was also sad that this had to be performed in such a public way, with the whole church looking on.

I was impressed that, later in the article, the father and son began to meet each other for meals. They were both extremely uncomfortable (the article calls the meetings 'excruciating'), but they kept meeting for them anyway and forcing themselves to talk to one another. They did this regularly, almost religiously, until they began to have a relationship again and find the love they used to have for one another.

Family drama, especially from the outside, looks petty and unnecessary, but from the inside, it's incredibly real, painful, and cosmic in its significance. No one can hurt you like your family. No one knows all your tender places, all your weakest points, like the people whom you have grown up with or lived with. From the outside, people think, 'Oh my gosh, just talk to one another,' or, 'Um... you guys are saying, like, the same thing,' or, 'Does that really matter that much to you?'

People are walking away from their marriages, from their siblings, from their children, and from their parents, and ripping holes in themselves that are so very, very hard to mend.

I guess that, in all this diatribe, I'm trying to say, 'Talk to your family members. Get in the habit of good communication. Then, the holidays won't be so awful, because you have good habits. Call your parents. Call your brother or sister or son or daughter or aunt or cousin or spouse or meet them for an excruciating meal and just talk*. Take the high road. Listen to each other. Forgive each other. Go to therapy, if you have to. This is not how you want to live your life. The weight of this will sink your heart, and the holidays will remain dark, dark times, growing darker every year until that year when, finally, someone has died and you can't fix it anymore.'

I pray everyday that we protect this little unit with unbridled aggression

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*Disclaimer: if you are a victim of violent abuse, please don't contact whoever that is. You should probably be in a controlled environment, like a therapy session, before you ever get in contact with that person directly. I'm talking about relational issues, not violent crimes. I have many friends for whom this is the case, and I don't want my statements to be misleading or dangerous for them (hahaha, I flatter myself that anyone takes my advice... but seriously, don't do anything dangerous).

Maybe I'm Crazy

So, the first three nights of Elijah in his own room have gone pretty well, but something happened last night that really unnerved me.

I have his baby monitor on my nightstand so that I can hear him cry when he wakes up to eat. He woke up at 1:00, and I woke up when I heard him cry on the monitor. I went into his room and fed him, then went back to bed and right back to sleep.

At 3:30, I heard him crying in the other room, only more loudly and urgently than before. I looked at the monitor and it wasn't showing that he was crying, so I wondered as I rushed to his room if maybe I had switched the channels by accident and maybe it wasn't picking up his signal. After I burst into his room, I stopped short because he had suddenly stopped crying as soon as I opened his door. I tip-toed to his bed to see that he was completely sound asleep.

I had imagined the whole thing. He was never crying, which was why the monitor 'wasn't working.' When he woke up to  eat at 4:30, it was on the monitor just like usual.

Now I'm wondering if I have lost my mind.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I moved Elijah to his own room last night. I missed him pretty badly for the first ten minutes, but then I fell asleep.

Thus we begin adventures in sleep-training. We're off to a good start. I think last night was the best night's sleep I've had since he came home from the hospital. He only woke up twice, which is a huge improvement over 5 times the night before.

I have decided the 'cry it out' method is simply not for me. There are ways that don't traumatize me. I don't know what effect such a method has on the baby, maybe nothing long term, but I know that crying alone cannot be pleasant, even if it doesn't have some kind of long-term psychological impression. I have been told to read this book, so I'm going to give it a try. It looks like exactly what I want.

All that to say, I am venturing into a new phase of parenting, and I'm kind of excited (mostly at the prospect of actually getting some sleep).

We had the most incredible vacation with Adam's family. Adam sorely needed a break, and I got to hone my Halo skills, so it was a great deal all around :-) Now I have SO MUCH work to get done this week, so I'm gonna get off Blogspot and go do some of it.

105 - A Song of Thanksgiving

From March 27 to July 10 was 105 days that Elijah spent in the hospital before coming home healthy.

This year, I have a lot of things to be thankful for, but 105 stand out.


I am thankful for:
The car that drove me to the hospital 105 times.
The nurses who gave me 105 progress reports.
The hospital that gave me 105 meal trays.
The body that pumped milk for 105 days.
The baby who won 105 battles.
The husband who held me for 105 meltdowns.
The God who answered 105 prayers.

Yes, I have a lot of things to be thankful for, but 105 stand out.

Been a While

I spend a lot of time with Elijah. So much time, in fact, that I eagerly look forward to taking a shower because not only can I wash off the spit-up, but I enjoy just a few minutes of having my body to myself.

I can't believe how much I love this little person. It's a love I have never experienced before now. It's as if a new door has been opened in me, and I'm discovering this whole new corridor of myself that wasn't there last year. Being a mom has been stretching me and challenging me. I think it's making me a better person. When I remember myself a few years ago, especially myself in college, I am amazed at what a self-centered person I was (I still am self-centered, but bear with me.). Now, my time is not my own. My sleep is not my own. My body is not my own. This little person is completely reliant on my desire to give up large parts of myself for him.

Motherhood also gives me a whole new appreciation for my own mother. She fed me and clothed me and washed me and kept me warm and cool and dry and alive. It's a wonder to think that we all start out like that: balls of squalling, soft flesh with hungry, toothless mouths who can only survive because of the sacrifice of people whom we never did anything for.

Elijah can sit up with a little support and rolls over like a pro now. Still no signs of crawling, but you can tell he wants to move. He just hasn't figured it out yet. He likes oatmeal. He liked sweet potatoes, but sweet potatoes didn't like him. We're letting him get used to oatmeal on his tummy before adding any new foods.

In other news, my dad is coming back from Afghanistan this week. I'm so excited to show off Elijah to him. He was still in the hospital when Dad left the country, so Elijah will look like a giant to him now.

I am sad not to do anything for Halloween again this year. My original plan fell through, so alas, no festivities this year. I will be carving a pumpkin, dressing up the baby, and taking pictures, though.

My wedding ring broke. I have to take it to get repaired sometime soon. I was bummed. I am borrowing a band from my mother in the meanwhile.

I started a Bible study with the women in my church. I have never really been a Bible study person, and certainly not a 'women's' Bible study, but it's been pretty nice. We are reading the Gospel of John, and I'm learning a lot. It's giving me a place to go every week and a chance to visit with other moms.

I am also trying to get involved in a group for mothers of preemies in my area. They offer a lot of support for parents with babies in the hospital. I would like something good to come out of my experience, so I am hoping to get involved and stay involved. It's such a relief to have mothers to talk to who have been where I've been. It's a terrible place to be alone. I wish I knew about them when Elijah was in the NICU, but better late than never.

AND... I can't think of anything else to say. I am a mom. I cook. I clean. I (try to) sleep. I snuggle with Adam at night and watch TV shows before bed. I am falling into a delightful normalcy. I have plenty of happiness to help me recover from my pregnancy, my delivery, my hospital journey, and my loss of Phil.

Incidentally, Elijah is starting to look at pages when I try to read to him, so I feel the beginning of a whole new phase of our relationship.

Social Medium: Communicating With the Dead on Facebook

Since Phil's death earlier this year, I have been learning about loss and grief. I have not truly sifted through all of the emotions that I am sure are somewhere inside of me; it's a work-in-progress. I go back and forth between denial and acceptance without much attention to the stages in between. I fear for the day when I really roll up my sleeves and deal with it. For now, I don't talk about it. I just write about it. One thing that I have experienced with all too much feeling is the intense desire to communicate with Phil. I miss the experiences, I miss being with him, seeing his face, etc., but most of all I miss telling him about things and hearing his feedback. I miss hearing his ideas and desires and telling him mine.

I dream of him often. It's not the sort of dream where I don't know or think he's dead. He is always dead in my dreams, but in my dreams he has always come back somehow. Once he faked his death. Once he was a miracle of science and came back to life 2 days after he drowned. Once (less pleasantly) he was a malignant spirit who was haunting me. Each of these led to a most unpleasant wake-up

The most dramatic dream was one where we were standing in the middle of a nondescript construction site. In the dream, it was right after Elijah was born (although I had this dream a couple of weeks ago) and two weeks before Phil died.

"I'm sorry your baby was born too early," Phil said.

"I'm sorry you're going to die in two weeks," I said.

We hugged.

He melted in my arms as I woke up, tears burning my eyes.

For all the agony that dream caused me, I could not help but feel that I had actually talked to Phil. I really felt like my spirit had created and sent information and his spirit had received it. Which brings me to the topic of this blog.

**Disclaimer**
For the record, I do not believe in the ghosts of the dead returning or that Phil in any sense was actually in my dream or actually talking to me. I'm sure some of those who read this might believe in such things, and I hope they enjoy the comfort that it gives them, but please don't lose the point of my post by mistaking my meaning. My purpose is only to reflect on a social phenomenon that I have noticed.
**End Disclaimer**

Sometimes people have Facebook accounts or other online presences. Sometimes those people die, and they leave those presences behind. A lot went into Phil's Facebook. Many of his likes, activities, pictures, and other bits of himself were put into a page that became a ready-made memorial site at his death. Suddenly that page was a place where mourners can remember and gawkers can gaze from the privacy of their computers. Acquaintances suddenly know him better than they did in life and the crowds gather to associate with this tragic slice of human drama.

After a while, the crowd subsided and people visited less and we were left with a core of Phil-junkies. We visit his site out of habit, injecting photos and jokes like a drug into our minds, committing new photos to memory and hoping some new part of him is exposed to feed the hearts of those that miss him desperately.

I think some of this comes from the fact that there is now a big, fat period on the end of his life. It's over; he will never do a new thing. Everything he has already done is all we will ever have of him, and Facebook contains a fairly comprehensive overview of the most recent years of his life.

His photo stands beside words he said, responses he gave, messages he sent. In a way, that little avatar feels like him. Statements he made are sealed with the stamp of that little thumbnail, as if it were a political ad: "This message approved by..."  We comment and talk about him as if he is still there, on the other side of the computer screen, waiting to respond. So we talk, and comment, and message, hoping that the little messages we send out into cyber space will be heard, much like a scientist sending messages blindly into outer space, hoping to make contact.

There are downsides to this pageantry. One is that there's not a day my heart doesn't stop because I've seen "Phil likes XYZ." Any activity with that little stamp of approval feels like he's still living in the internet, liking things and watching, reading, talking. Additionally, there are those who are offended by his Facebook still being active and people still "talking to him." They complain about this form of mourning; it looks to them like an unnecessary or unhealthy spectacle of people parading their sorrow.

My husband is under instruction to delete my Facebook after an appropriate interval if I die before him. I have no desire for my image to haunt those who loved me. Because that's what it feels like: it feels like the dead are haunting us in the internet. Faces of those we loved with interactions we shared float before our eyes in illuminated images, and photos of them take on a spectral quality.

 I have realized that communication is the richest way we have of building relationships. No wonder they suffer so badly when communication is weak. With Phil gone, communication with him is the biggest void that I have felt. I will visit and revisit his Facebook and send him messages until it dies or the internet ends or the Apocalypse happens, hoping with the tiniest sliver of hope that he'll say something.

Full of Hope

There is a particular sort of tragedy to unused baby things - especially when they are long unused. They have a sense of longing to them. They were made to hold little bodies, to delight little hands and eyes, to snuggle close to little faces. When a crib stands empty in a corner for months, it could just as well be a black hole or an endless abyss for all the warmth it adds to a room. When toys and towels and blankets sit in a pile in a closet, unopened, unpacked, they lose their color, their softness. The emptiness is heavier because of all the potential missed, all the day-dreams during pregnancy evaporated, all the expectations suspended. 

The three and a half months I spent sitting in a hospital room with Elijah feel like some distant, terrible nightmare - only three weeks into being home. We have fallen into a routine that is so comfortable, so natural, so right that I can scarcely remember all the weight that used to sit on my heart. Sometimes when I see him curled up in his bed, I feel a lump in my throat at how much I had longed for that sight. After months of the crib standing vacant and cold, it's a dream come true to see him safe and home. He adds such a warmth and presence to every room that I can't help but be filled with delight. I'm finally getting to be his mommy and not just his visitor.