Well, I am 19 weeks pregnant...almost halfway. I have started to be able to feel the baby kicking with my hand, which means it won't be long until Adam will be able to feel it if I catch it in time. I have been less sick with more energy, and that's good news becaaaause...
...We're driving to Arkansas next week. That's about a 20 hour drive. Spread out over two days, the trip will be about 10 hours a day in a car, 12.5 hours if you factor in all the potty breaks I'm going to have to take. I have never wanted to fly so badly in my life. I hate airplanes, but I would take a plane any day over the grueling road trip we are about to endure. I am praying for no motion sickness, no swelling, and no throwing up - not necessarily in that order.
We will be visiting all the aunts and uncles and grandparents in Little Rock and areas nearby. I have never been to Little Rock, so that's sort of exciting, but I understand it will be very cold, and that's less exciting. It's been in the 70s and 80s everyday here in Florida, and I don't adapt well to the cold. I think I'm like a lizard now - anything under 50 degrees makes my body shut down. Maybe the baby will be a little heater for me.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Balancing Acts and Other Weirdness
I have been having even more new-and-exciting symptoms from my pregnancy that I will share for those of who how eagerly await hearing about my experiences (i.e. Becky).
First, I am still vomiting. A lot. That can't be good. I'm having a hard time staying hydrated, and I have been limited on the sorts of foods I can eat, so I simply don't think I'm getting enough nutrients. So that part is kind of scary. I'm terrified of taking a drug that makes my kid sterile or retarded or have extra limbs just because I'm a wimp, but the alternative is making me nervous. ANYWAY, enough scary stuff.
Last weekend I felt the baby move for the first time. It is a very strange sensation that is almost impossible to describe. Imagine someone filled a water balloon to about the size of a cantaloupe and placed it between your hip-bones. Then imagine that there is pop-corn popping inside the water balloon. That's as close as I can come to describing it. Lately, Pop-corn has started to activate during writing conferences at work, which is very distracting. There's no great way to explain to the student why I suddenly stared off into space with my hand on my belly. "Oh, sorry, there's just a tiny person banging on the walls of my uterus."
I have lately become front-load heavy. That means that everything on the front of my torso is way bigger than usual. This is very problematic with clothes. Nothing but maternity stuff fits, but I don't have much of a bump yet, so I just look pudgy. Sad face. The other weird thing is that I have begun to spontaneously lose my balance. At first I thought it was just dizziness, but now I'm starting to think that I actually have begun to shift my center of gravity, and this panda bear is not used to that. I have always had a firm, hip-based center of gravity, but now it's starting to move upwards.
I am looking forward to having a month off, starting next Thursday, and I will spend it getting things done and sleeping. Oh, and driving to Arkansas for Christmas. I will be meeting all of the Cartwrights that I didn't have a chance to meet before.
First, I am still vomiting. A lot. That can't be good. I'm having a hard time staying hydrated, and I have been limited on the sorts of foods I can eat, so I simply don't think I'm getting enough nutrients. So that part is kind of scary. I'm terrified of taking a drug that makes my kid sterile or retarded or have extra limbs just because I'm a wimp, but the alternative is making me nervous. ANYWAY, enough scary stuff.
Last weekend I felt the baby move for the first time. It is a very strange sensation that is almost impossible to describe. Imagine someone filled a water balloon to about the size of a cantaloupe and placed it between your hip-bones. Then imagine that there is pop-corn popping inside the water balloon. That's as close as I can come to describing it. Lately, Pop-corn has started to activate during writing conferences at work, which is very distracting. There's no great way to explain to the student why I suddenly stared off into space with my hand on my belly. "Oh, sorry, there's just a tiny person banging on the walls of my uterus."
I have lately become front-load heavy. That means that everything on the front of my torso is way bigger than usual. This is very problematic with clothes. Nothing but maternity stuff fits, but I don't have much of a bump yet, so I just look pudgy. Sad face. The other weird thing is that I have begun to spontaneously lose my balance. At first I thought it was just dizziness, but now I'm starting to think that I actually have begun to shift my center of gravity, and this panda bear is not used to that. I have always had a firm, hip-based center of gravity, but now it's starting to move upwards.
I am looking forward to having a month off, starting next Thursday, and I will spend it getting things done and sleeping. Oh, and driving to Arkansas for Christmas. I will be meeting all of the Cartwrights that I didn't have a chance to meet before.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
2nd Trimester Starts Today
So today marks the beginning of my 2nd trimester. I am STILL sick, but I'm a little less of a pukey-faced zombie these days.
I'm still not showing, which is both normal and slightly disappointing. I believe, though, that in the long run I'll be glad to have room to grow. If I was already big with 26 weeks to go, that could be a problem. According to the internet, my fundus (ha! science knowledge!) is rising, so I should be popping out in a few weeks.
In other news, pregnancy makes you burp, fart, and snore. That's about all I have to say about that.
I have started to crochet a baby blanket for my little lemon (that's what size it is this week.). We have decided that we want to find out the sex of the baby if we can. I would like to stop calling it "Tadpole," "Buddy," and "Fruit of the Week," but most of all I would like to stop calling it "It." For now, though, I have chosen the cliche green and yellow for the blanket I'm making. Making a baby blanket is supposed to make me more excited about the little chap. I've been so sick that I haven't had room in my head for thrills and joy, which has made me feel more than a little bit guilty. I'm trying to get in the parenting, mothering, nesting mood, with little success. I even looked online at nursery bedding, but it is all so expensive and extravagant and cutesy that I was more overwhelmed than excited.
I have finally found a mid-wife facility, so I'm gonna make an appointment and start getting professional help on this stuff. I'm finally at the point where, if something went wrong, a professional would actually be able to do something, so it's time to visit the pros. I'll update once I get the ultrasound and medical advice :-)
I'm still not showing, which is both normal and slightly disappointing. I believe, though, that in the long run I'll be glad to have room to grow. If I was already big with 26 weeks to go, that could be a problem. According to the internet, my fundus (ha! science knowledge!) is rising, so I should be popping out in a few weeks.
In other news, pregnancy makes you burp, fart, and snore. That's about all I have to say about that.
I have started to crochet a baby blanket for my little lemon (that's what size it is this week.). We have decided that we want to find out the sex of the baby if we can. I would like to stop calling it "Tadpole," "Buddy," and "Fruit of the Week," but most of all I would like to stop calling it "It." For now, though, I have chosen the cliche green and yellow for the blanket I'm making. Making a baby blanket is supposed to make me more excited about the little chap. I've been so sick that I haven't had room in my head for thrills and joy, which has made me feel more than a little bit guilty. I'm trying to get in the parenting, mothering, nesting mood, with little success. I even looked online at nursery bedding, but it is all so expensive and extravagant and cutesy that I was more overwhelmed than excited.
I have finally found a mid-wife facility, so I'm gonna make an appointment and start getting professional help on this stuff. I'm finally at the point where, if something went wrong, a professional would actually be able to do something, so it's time to visit the pros. I'll update once I get the ultrasound and medical advice :-)
Friday, October 21, 2011
Getting Better
Well, I am at 11 weeks now, and I am definitely starting to feel better. If I'm lucky, I only throw up once a day now! My dreams are still really weird, though. I dreamed the other night that I was packing for a trip, and I was trying on the clothes that I would take. When I started, my clothes were too big, but they got smaller and smaller as I went until I couldn't even fit them over my head. I think I'm a little anxious about the body changes that I have to look forward to. Oh, well, I'll just try to minimize the damage so that it's at least mostly baby :-)
I have been looking forward to Halloween for a whole year, and now it's almost here. I realized, though, that I have to work until 8 that night, so I'm afraid I'm gonna miss all the trick-or-treaters :-( I can at least carve a pumpkin, though, and I'll be able to make pumpkin soup and pumpkin bread pudding again like last year. I'm hoping my tummy can handle those foods because I have been thinking about them all year!
I have been looking forward to Halloween for a whole year, and now it's almost here. I realized, though, that I have to work until 8 that night, so I'm afraid I'm gonna miss all the trick-or-treaters :-( I can at least carve a pumpkin, though, and I'll be able to make pumpkin soup and pumpkin bread pudding again like last year. I'm hoping my tummy can handle those foods because I have been thinking about them all year!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Pregnancy is Hard
Well, there have been some new developments (read: weird symptoms) that I'll share. I signed up for a weekly e-mail list that tells me where the baby is development-wise, where I should be symptom-wise, and the size of the baby fruit-wise.
This week, Little James or Natalie has eyes and eyelids, but he/she won't be opening them for a while. At the end of this week, all the major body parts will be in place and things will be fine-tuned and developed from here on out.
I have not been sleeping very well. My body has developed two patterns from which it chooses every night.
Pattern 1: I fall asleep at 10. At 12, I wake up to pee. At 2:30, I wake up to pee again, but this time I won't fall asleep again until 3:30. At 6:30, I wake up to pee again. At 7:30, I wake up, throw up, eat a bowl of cereal, and sleep again until 9.
Pattern 2: I fall asleep at 10. At 1:30, I wake up to pee. At 3:30, I wake up to pee, go back to bed, get up again to throw up, eat a piece of toast, and go back to bed. At 7:30, I wake to pee, throw up, eat more toast, and can't fall back asleep until 10.
I can tell which pattern my body is following based on the first time I wake up. It's like clock-work from there. I pretty much know exactly what time it is whenever I wake up from then on.
One thing they tell you about insomnia is that you should get out of bed and do stuff while you wait to get sleepy again. I don't have the energy for that. I prefer to simply lie there and wait for sleep to find me again because that takes way less effort. It leads to weird thoughts, though, which lead to weird dreams. On one pattern 1 night, I lay in bed at 2:45 trying to think of things that were interesting. I began to think (of all things) about how secure our apartment would be in the event of a zombie apocalypse. That was a mistake. The answer was "Not very," and I proceeded to terrify myself with thoughts of zombies climbing over each other to reach our second-story balcony.
I do have a bad feeling that these patterns may be self-perpetuating, that by thinking that it's time to throw up, my body can't undo the damage. I don't know, though. I'm still pretty sure I was just gonna throw up anyway.
One thing my little weekly e-mail said was very helpful. It said something to the effect of, "Burping a lot?" I thought, Oh my gosh, yes, how did they know? I have not been much of a lady lately.
Fruit-wise, it's the size of a grape, which is way cuter than last week's kidney bean.
This week, Little James or Natalie has eyes and eyelids, but he/she won't be opening them for a while. At the end of this week, all the major body parts will be in place and things will be fine-tuned and developed from here on out.
I have not been sleeping very well. My body has developed two patterns from which it chooses every night.
Pattern 1: I fall asleep at 10. At 12, I wake up to pee. At 2:30, I wake up to pee again, but this time I won't fall asleep again until 3:30. At 6:30, I wake up to pee again. At 7:30, I wake up, throw up, eat a bowl of cereal, and sleep again until 9.
Pattern 2: I fall asleep at 10. At 1:30, I wake up to pee. At 3:30, I wake up to pee, go back to bed, get up again to throw up, eat a piece of toast, and go back to bed. At 7:30, I wake to pee, throw up, eat more toast, and can't fall back asleep until 10.
I can tell which pattern my body is following based on the first time I wake up. It's like clock-work from there. I pretty much know exactly what time it is whenever I wake up from then on.
One thing they tell you about insomnia is that you should get out of bed and do stuff while you wait to get sleepy again. I don't have the energy for that. I prefer to simply lie there and wait for sleep to find me again because that takes way less effort. It leads to weird thoughts, though, which lead to weird dreams. On one pattern 1 night, I lay in bed at 2:45 trying to think of things that were interesting. I began to think (of all things) about how secure our apartment would be in the event of a zombie apocalypse. That was a mistake. The answer was "Not very," and I proceeded to terrify myself with thoughts of zombies climbing over each other to reach our second-story balcony.
I do have a bad feeling that these patterns may be self-perpetuating, that by thinking that it's time to throw up, my body can't undo the damage. I don't know, though. I'm still pretty sure I was just gonna throw up anyway.
One thing my little weekly e-mail said was very helpful. It said something to the effect of, "Burping a lot?" I thought, Oh my gosh, yes, how did they know? I have not been much of a lady lately.
Fruit-wise, it's the size of a grape, which is way cuter than last week's kidney bean.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Change of Direction
Well, we're pregnant! 7 weeks along, in fact. So for the next few posts, I'm just going to talk about what that's like. Since only people who already know I'm pregnant read this blog (i.e. Dad), I feel free to discuss it in this forum, but if you are not either my dad or possibly Becky, then do me a favor and don't tell Facebook. Facebook blabs too much, but I know I can trust you, Blogspot.
When you are pregnant, food does not settle into your stomach. Oh, no. Food hits your stomach. And some of it bounces. I have been living off of bananas and toast for the last few days. I am looking forward to trying a potato this afternoon. I tried a potato last week, but I couldn't keep it down. I assure you, though, that it wasn't the potato's fault. The potato was innocent. Turns out that staring at a computer screen for too long will also cause sickness (so you'll forgive me if my posts these days are a little brief). Escalators are also a very bad idea.
Smells are also a problem when you're pregnant. They are way more potent than usual. I have come to believe that my sense of smell right now is that of a super hero. I smell things that no one else even knows are there. I can smell mold on bread before it's even visible, and I promptly throw it out, which has become a source of conflict between Adam and me. He seems to believe that these deadly foods are still edible and that I'm wasting good groceries. He has begun to disbelieve me so much that he inquisitions me every time I remove these foods from the house, and unless it was actually visible mold, he gives me grief over it. As if mold has to be visible to really be there. Ha! But I know. I can tell. It's just sitting there, waiting to bloom and poison us all.
Unfortunately, smell is my only super power, and I would gladly trade it for invisibility or something. My other "super" qualities are super tired, super queasy, super cranky, and super hungry. I also cry easily, so no more Pixar movies for a while.
Anyway, more to come as stranger things happen to me. For now, our little Natalie or James is about the size of a blueberry. A blueberry feels a lot bigger when you imagine it growing in your body. Weeeeird.
When you are pregnant, food does not settle into your stomach. Oh, no. Food hits your stomach. And some of it bounces. I have been living off of bananas and toast for the last few days. I am looking forward to trying a potato this afternoon. I tried a potato last week, but I couldn't keep it down. I assure you, though, that it wasn't the potato's fault. The potato was innocent. Turns out that staring at a computer screen for too long will also cause sickness (so you'll forgive me if my posts these days are a little brief). Escalators are also a very bad idea.
Smells are also a problem when you're pregnant. They are way more potent than usual. I have come to believe that my sense of smell right now is that of a super hero. I smell things that no one else even knows are there. I can smell mold on bread before it's even visible, and I promptly throw it out, which has become a source of conflict between Adam and me. He seems to believe that these deadly foods are still edible and that I'm wasting good groceries. He has begun to disbelieve me so much that he inquisitions me every time I remove these foods from the house, and unless it was actually visible mold, he gives me grief over it. As if mold has to be visible to really be there. Ha! But I know. I can tell. It's just sitting there, waiting to bloom and poison us all.
Unfortunately, smell is my only super power, and I would gladly trade it for invisibility or something. My other "super" qualities are super tired, super queasy, super cranky, and super hungry. I also cry easily, so no more Pixar movies for a while.
Anyway, more to come as stranger things happen to me. For now, our little Natalie or James is about the size of a blueberry. A blueberry feels a lot bigger when you imagine it growing in your body. Weeeeird.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Money
We ran into a tiny money crisis. Adam lost half of his hours at work, which meant that we were going to be spending $600 more a month than we were making. I nearly started crying when I was working out our budget. We prayed that the Lord would fix it, because we didn't know what to do.
That week:
1. I got 2 more hours of work a week ($80 more a month)
2. Adam got one drumming student ($60 more a month)
3. Adam got two more prospective students (possible $180 a month)
4. Adam got a lot of work done on a graphic design project ($1,500 between now and December).
So what that means is that in one week, we were back to making close to what we made before he lost hours, or at least we were back to breaking even. God is good and faithful, and He has provided all we need.
We are slashing our food bill, though, because that's all we have control over right now. All of our other expenses are rigid and non-negotiable (insurance, gas, etc.). We are limiting unnecessary car trips and unplugging electronics as we go, but otherwise all we can do is eat less. Beans and rice it is :-) The only other thing we can do is put Netflix on hold again, but it's the only thing we spend money on for entertainment, and it would only save us $10 a month. We're just taking it a day at a time!
That week:
1. I got 2 more hours of work a week ($80 more a month)
2. Adam got one drumming student ($60 more a month)
3. Adam got two more prospective students (possible $180 a month)
4. Adam got a lot of work done on a graphic design project ($1,500 between now and December).
So what that means is that in one week, we were back to making close to what we made before he lost hours, or at least we were back to breaking even. God is good and faithful, and He has provided all we need.
We are slashing our food bill, though, because that's all we have control over right now. All of our other expenses are rigid and non-negotiable (insurance, gas, etc.). We are limiting unnecessary car trips and unplugging electronics as we go, but otherwise all we can do is eat less. Beans and rice it is :-) The only other thing we can do is put Netflix on hold again, but it's the only thing we spend money on for entertainment, and it would only save us $10 a month. We're just taking it a day at a time!
Friday, August 19, 2011
How We Got Married, Part II
When we got married, I was seriously considering inviting just our immediate family to my mom's backyard because I had no idea how we were going to afford an actual wedding. You may remember my mentioning in the previous post that Adam didn't have any work and that, in fact, he was still in school when we got engaged. I had some money stashed away, but only enough to get married in, well, our backyard.
I mentioned the backyard idea to some family members, and while I'm sure "outraged" is too strong a word, they were upset and offended, and they started contributing monetarily to our effort.
$3,500 later, I actually had some money to get married! Armed with what I believed to be a tremendous amount of money, I began doing research on my wedding.
My first reality check came when I was researching dresses. I noticed very quickly that most of the dresses that I liked were about half of my entire budget. My second reality check came when I realized that churches cost a lot of money, too. The first church I inquired about was $1,500 dollars to rent. And that was a church where I had connections! Most of the other local churches had similar price tags (I'm sure I'll have a post about just this topic one day, but not today.). I gulped. All I could afford was a dress and a church. I went to www.theknot.com (where every bride should go, at least to get oriented) and tried out their budget calculator to see what I should realistically think of spending on everything for the amount I had. They gave me an itemized list of what I should buy and what percent of my budget it should be. On my budget, I had $10 to spend on our wedding rings. "Uh, that's not going to work."Afraid that I would have to tell my guests to bring their own food, I decided I would have to be extremely creative and, dare I say, unconventional about the whole thing.
I learned that calling something "Wedding XYZ," or "Bridal ..." makes it at least three times more expensive. I decided to look for just a "white dress" and see what I found. I went to a vintage boutique and found a whole line of remakes of vintage dresses from the 1920's. My wedding dress cost only $200. After I bought the dress, I had a (short-lived) sense of well-being that this was really the most important part and now everything else would fall into place. The spell lasted for several weeks, and I do believe that might have been part of the reason why I didn't get anything else done for so long.
I was at my wit's end with the church. I had looked everywhere and could not find anything in my budget. Then, 6 weeks before the wedding, I remembered a very old church that had become a historical building. I had taken a class in it, and I knew that it had been remodeled the summer before. I got in touch with the director of the church's preservation committee and asked him if they rented it for weddings. Yes, they did, for $500 ( - at the time. They have since raised the price because they realized what they had and that it was WAY too sweet of a deal.). The church had a lovely wood interior, a round sanctuary with a balcony, gorgeous stained glass, and huge brass organ pipes just over the stage. It was breathtakingly gorgeous, and they had a pretty hall right next to the sanctuary for a reception. There was no kitchen, but there was a sink and a refrigerator in the back, and we could live with it. I booked it on the spot.
Now that I had a church, a dress, a date, a groom, and I still had money left (miracle!), I was finally ready to invite people and a wedding party and get the ball rolling.
Invitations are ridiculously expensive. Especially "Wedding" invitations. I could get a box of 20 for $25. I could get really crappy ones for less, but then I would have really crappy wedding invitations. I decided to test my creativity and make some myself. 100 sheets of card stock, 50 sheets of vellum paper, and 70 feet of ribbon later, I had the fixings to make 100 invitations. Since it was the first week of classes, business was pretty slow at the writing center, so I had an assembly line of helpful fellow writing tutors punching holes and tying ribbons while I worried obsessively that I had a typo on the invitations and that one of them would spot it (I didn't; they didn't). I spent $25 on 100 invitations.
After my bridesmaids agreed to be in the wedding, I gave them the good news: I wasn't making them buy an expensive dress. Based on the weddings I had been in, not only are bridesmaid dresses expensive, but you have to buy them many, many weeks in advance. We didn't have many, many weeks. We were almost down to counting in days. I worried that it might be morbid, but I told them that they were to wear black dresses. If they already owned one, they could just wear it. I had stipulations on length and shininess, but otherwise they were free to do what they wanted. They each already owned a black dress that fit my criteria, and they were really good sports about coordinating with each other so that they really did match. I think I made them wear silver shoes, so they may have had to buy shoes, but it was better than the $150 they could have spent on a dress! The boys were in black suits, so everyone matched.
My mother-in-law bought the flowers in bulk from Sam's. She did all the arrangements herself, and they were gorgeous. She also bought 300 feet of something called drain field sewage fabric. It looks exactly like gossamer, but it's $.07 a foot at Home Depot. We didn't tell our guests; they didn't notice.
My own mother was in charge of food. I wrote her a check for $300 and said, "Go crazy." She looked at the $300 and said, "Uh. How many guests are coming?"
"About 100."
"You do know that this is really not a lot of money, right?"
"We can order pizza if we need to."
"Honey, we can't run out of food."
"It'll be ok. Everything will work. It has to. It has to!"
And then I think I started crying.
When I recovered, Mom decided to make a lot of the food herself and make my budget work. She ordered sandwiches from the grocery store, made the world's largest cheese log, made cheese puffs of some variety, and bought fresh strawberries right out of the field to garnish the table. She ordered white table cloths and an overlay with black and white floral designs.
I mentioned the backyard idea to some family members, and while I'm sure "outraged" is too strong a word, they were upset and offended, and they started contributing monetarily to our effort.
$3,500 later, I actually had some money to get married! Armed with what I believed to be a tremendous amount of money, I began doing research on my wedding.
My first reality check came when I was researching dresses. I noticed very quickly that most of the dresses that I liked were about half of my entire budget. My second reality check came when I realized that churches cost a lot of money, too. The first church I inquired about was $1,500 dollars to rent. And that was a church where I had connections! Most of the other local churches had similar price tags (I'm sure I'll have a post about just this topic one day, but not today.). I gulped. All I could afford was a dress and a church. I went to www.theknot.com (where every bride should go, at least to get oriented) and tried out their budget calculator to see what I should realistically think of spending on everything for the amount I had. They gave me an itemized list of what I should buy and what percent of my budget it should be. On my budget, I had $10 to spend on our wedding rings. "Uh, that's not going to work."Afraid that I would have to tell my guests to bring their own food, I decided I would have to be extremely creative and, dare I say, unconventional about the whole thing.
I learned that calling something "Wedding XYZ," or "Bridal ..." makes it at least three times more expensive. I decided to look for just a "white dress" and see what I found. I went to a vintage boutique and found a whole line of remakes of vintage dresses from the 1920's. My wedding dress cost only $200. After I bought the dress, I had a (short-lived) sense of well-being that this was really the most important part and now everything else would fall into place. The spell lasted for several weeks, and I do believe that might have been part of the reason why I didn't get anything else done for so long.
I was at my wit's end with the church. I had looked everywhere and could not find anything in my budget. Then, 6 weeks before the wedding, I remembered a very old church that had become a historical building. I had taken a class in it, and I knew that it had been remodeled the summer before. I got in touch with the director of the church's preservation committee and asked him if they rented it for weddings. Yes, they did, for $500 ( - at the time. They have since raised the price because they realized what they had and that it was WAY too sweet of a deal.). The church had a lovely wood interior, a round sanctuary with a balcony, gorgeous stained glass, and huge brass organ pipes just over the stage. It was breathtakingly gorgeous, and they had a pretty hall right next to the sanctuary for a reception. There was no kitchen, but there was a sink and a refrigerator in the back, and we could live with it. I booked it on the spot.
Now that I had a church, a dress, a date, a groom, and I still had money left (miracle!), I was finally ready to invite people and a wedding party and get the ball rolling.
Invitations are ridiculously expensive. Especially "Wedding" invitations. I could get a box of 20 for $25. I could get really crappy ones for less, but then I would have really crappy wedding invitations. I decided to test my creativity and make some myself. 100 sheets of card stock, 50 sheets of vellum paper, and 70 feet of ribbon later, I had the fixings to make 100 invitations. Since it was the first week of classes, business was pretty slow at the writing center, so I had an assembly line of helpful fellow writing tutors punching holes and tying ribbons while I worried obsessively that I had a typo on the invitations and that one of them would spot it (I didn't; they didn't). I spent $25 on 100 invitations.
After my bridesmaids agreed to be in the wedding, I gave them the good news: I wasn't making them buy an expensive dress. Based on the weddings I had been in, not only are bridesmaid dresses expensive, but you have to buy them many, many weeks in advance. We didn't have many, many weeks. We were almost down to counting in days. I worried that it might be morbid, but I told them that they were to wear black dresses. If they already owned one, they could just wear it. I had stipulations on length and shininess, but otherwise they were free to do what they wanted. They each already owned a black dress that fit my criteria, and they were really good sports about coordinating with each other so that they really did match. I think I made them wear silver shoes, so they may have had to buy shoes, but it was better than the $150 they could have spent on a dress! The boys were in black suits, so everyone matched.
My mother-in-law bought the flowers in bulk from Sam's. She did all the arrangements herself, and they were gorgeous. She also bought 300 feet of something called drain field sewage fabric. It looks exactly like gossamer, but it's $.07 a foot at Home Depot. We didn't tell our guests; they didn't notice.
My own mother was in charge of food. I wrote her a check for $300 and said, "Go crazy." She looked at the $300 and said, "Uh. How many guests are coming?"
"About 100."
"You do know that this is really not a lot of money, right?"
"We can order pizza if we need to."
"Honey, we can't run out of food."
"It'll be ok. Everything will work. It has to. It has to!"
And then I think I started crying.
When I recovered, Mom decided to make a lot of the food herself and make my budget work. She ordered sandwiches from the grocery store, made the world's largest cheese log, made cheese puffs of some variety, and bought fresh strawberries right out of the field to garnish the table. She ordered white table cloths and an overlay with black and white floral designs.
The end result, starring my grandmother's beautiful
silver platters and my mother's beautiful silver candelabras
Wedding cakes are another outrageously expensive item. Some people really like cake, and some people are really great at making beautiful cakes, and those people should be duly compensated. I don't really like cake, so the idea of spending $500 on a cake (the going rate) was horrifying to me. We decided to buy plain white cupcakes at Sam's club at $15 for 30 of them. Then, my mother-in-law decorated them with fresh flowers on a 3-tier platter. It looked like this:
There were way more than these, but they are elsewhere
on the table. There was an explosion of cupcakes
just to the left of this shot.
Adam's mom bought a whole bunch of little picture frames from a dollar store and spread them around the room on the tables. We had little boxes with Red hots (the candy) in them with a little "Thank you" message for favors.
The wedding was beautiful and fabulous, and I have estimated that the final price tag, including our honeymoon and all the little things (and big things) our families bought and did for us was in the neighborhood of $5,000. And I thought I would have to get married in the back yard...
I am sure I will have many more happy days, but so far that was the happiest of my life.
Because I love GK Chesterton so much, here's another quote by him:
"Every act of will is an act of self-limitation. To desire action is to desire limitation. In that sense, every act is an act of self-sacrifice. When you choose anything, you reject everything else."
Because I love GK Chesterton so much, here's another quote by him:
"Every act of will is an act of self-limitation. To desire action is to desire limitation. In that sense, every act is an act of self-sacrifice. When you choose anything, you reject everything else."
Monday, August 15, 2011
How We Got Married, Part I
On the 19th of this month, we will have been married for 6 months. Yay! Here's how we got married.
We were dating for 7 months when we became engaged. We had known each other for a really long time, so we had already been through the whole "making sure you're not an axe-murderer" phase of the relationship before we became romantic. We knew before we started dating that we were dating in order to figure out if we wanted to get married, which really stream-lined the process. Instead of romantic dinner dates, we ran errands together, cooked meals together, and asked each other frank questions about our plans, habits, when we wanted to have kids and how many, etc. We got engaged in late October of 2010 with a wedding date of February 19, 2011. I'm not sure why we picked that day, except that it was on President's Day weekend and it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you have ever planned a wedding, you may understand that 4+ months is not a lot of time to do so. It became even less time when:
1. Adam spent 3 weeks recovering after he had an appendectomy one week after we got engaged
2. Thanksgiving happened
3. Adam graduated college
4. Christmas happened
5. A 1 week mission trip to Texas happened at the beginning of January
I leave you with this quote from Proverbs 16:3:
"Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established."
We were dating for 7 months when we became engaged. We had known each other for a really long time, so we had already been through the whole "making sure you're not an axe-murderer" phase of the relationship before we became romantic. We knew before we started dating that we were dating in order to figure out if we wanted to get married, which really stream-lined the process. Instead of romantic dinner dates, we ran errands together, cooked meals together, and asked each other frank questions about our plans, habits, when we wanted to have kids and how many, etc. We got engaged in late October of 2010 with a wedding date of February 19, 2011. I'm not sure why we picked that day, except that it was on President's Day weekend and it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you have ever planned a wedding, you may understand that 4+ months is not a lot of time to do so. It became even less time when:
1. Adam spent 3 weeks recovering after he had an appendectomy one week after we got engaged
2. Thanksgiving happened
3. Adam graduated college
4. Christmas happened
5. A 1 week mission trip to Texas happened at the beginning of January
Us in Texas, blissfully unaware of how hard it is
to plan a wedding
If you have ever planned an event, you may know that in order to send invitations and plan food, flowers, etc., you must first have a location for your event. We had not done any of those things before we went to Texas because we didn't have a place to get married, yet. We scrambled to book the church we wanted the week after we returned from Texas (which, may I bring to your attention, was less than six weeks before the wedding. Professionals recommend you do this six months in advance, which was longer than our entire engagement). Once the church was booked, we had less than six weeks to make everything else work.
We didn't have a place to live, we didn't have furniture, and Adam didn't have work, but we really felt like this was the right thing to and that we needed to have faith to pull it off.
So we started praying.
Within two weeks, we had an apartment and furniture (furniture courtesy of my dad). We asked people to be in the wedding a month out, which is also when we sent the invitations (breaking about 50 rules of proper wedding preparation tactics).
I'll tell you what we did for rings, flowers, tuxes, dresses, and the church in another post. Our goal was to start our lives together not-broke. We had generous contributions from all sides of the family, and our wedding was more beautiful than we imagined, but we were still able to be frugal and trim a lot of the excess from our wedding. The average wedding in the US costs $25,000. (I'll give you a hint: ours was way less than that.)
I'll tell you what we did for rings, flowers, tuxes, dresses, and the church in another post. Our goal was to start our lives together not-broke. We had generous contributions from all sides of the family, and our wedding was more beautiful than we imagined, but we were still able to be frugal and trim a lot of the excess from our wedding. The average wedding in the US costs $25,000. (I'll give you a hint: ours was way less than that.)
Adam's mom bought the flowers, and she arranged them an hour before the wedding.
I've never witnessed such a flurry of activity in my life.
We still didn't have work for Adam, but what we did have was a whole bunch of friends and family who took wonderful care of us all along the way.
You know that feeling you have when you
see a video of an old woman making it
across the tracks one second before
the train blasts through? That what this felt like,
only I was the old woman, and the wedding
was the train.
Adam was finally hired three months after we were married. (What we do and don't do for employment is a subject for another post.) We have been blessed beyond measure, and we have agreed that if our relationship can survive the wedding planning, it can survive anything.
"Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established."
Friday, August 12, 2011
Losing Weight
I was re-reading my previous blog, and I felt like I ought to say more about food.
I used to be really fit. (There's a link to these thoughts, I promise.) I used to do karate and triathlons and lift weights and all kinds of things. Then, I blew my knee out (dislocated my kneecap) for the fourth time, and my body was like, "Ok, that's it, I quit. No more exercising." Then, the rest of me quit, and I began smoking cigarettes and living a heavy-partying lifestyle.
You can guess what happened, I'm sure. Before I knew it, I had gained 30 pounds.
I was able to ride out my general fitness for a little while, so my weight gain happened very slowly at first, then quite suddenly. I became alarmed and decided to do something about it.
I began trying to run again. Now, when you have gained 30 extra pounds from the last time you went running, it doesn't quite feel the same. It feels like you strapped 30 pounds of pork chops to your gut, butt, and legs. Add that to the damage I did to my lung capacity, and you had a sweaty, slobbery mess working its way up the track.
I put down cigarettes, mostly because I was dating a really cute guy who hated smoking, but also because I had always meant to and now I had a good reason. I have been smoke-free now for 15 months (whoo!). I have since thanked my husband for adding years to my life. (He was the cute guy.)
I lost 10 pounds when I quit drinking, but now I had 20 pounds that won't budge. After a year of reintroducing exercise, I hadn't been able to lose an ounce. I still tried running, but my knees were ruined. Enter Pilates.
I thought Pilates was just a funny joke "workout" for people who couldn't actually work out, something for enfeebled people and rich health nuts. Well, I was enfeebled, so I decided to give it a shot and see if I could rehab my knees. (*Disclaimer* I am not a health care professional. If you have bad knees or another infirmary, talk to a doctor before doing anything I recommend, ever. Actually, always talk to a professional before ever doing anything I recommend, regardless of the subject matter. Except for cooking. You can probably trust my instructions on cooking.)
You may be wondering how paying money for weight loss fits in with this lifestyle we embraced that shouldn't have allowed me to gain a lot of weight to begin with. The answer is that I have not paid any more money to do Pilates than I have already spent.
We have a Netflix account, and Netflix already has a bunch of exercise videos that I use. You can also find a lot of exercise tapes for free on Youtube, and About.com has a variety of explanations for Pilates exercises. I own a mat (you can buy a good one for about $30.), and I already had little hand weights (3 lbs). I have been working at it for about 2 months, and I am definitely seeing results. My knees feel better than they have in years, and I am slowly losing weight. (*Disclaimer* Don't forget to talk to that doctor.) All this for way less than a gym membership. I would like one day to join a YMCA, but that's in the distant future. Until then, I will continue to work with what I have, building my knees back up to a place where I can live an active lifestyle with knees that suit my 23 years, instead of my knees aging way faster than the rest of me.
It's a bit of a digression, but since I love GK Chesterton, I leave you today with this quote from him:
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind."
I used to be really fit. (There's a link to these thoughts, I promise.) I used to do karate and triathlons and lift weights and all kinds of things. Then, I blew my knee out (dislocated my kneecap) for the fourth time, and my body was like, "Ok, that's it, I quit. No more exercising." Then, the rest of me quit, and I began smoking cigarettes and living a heavy-partying lifestyle.
You can guess what happened, I'm sure. Before I knew it, I had gained 30 pounds.
I was able to ride out my general fitness for a little while, so my weight gain happened very slowly at first, then quite suddenly. I became alarmed and decided to do something about it.
I began trying to run again. Now, when you have gained 30 extra pounds from the last time you went running, it doesn't quite feel the same. It feels like you strapped 30 pounds of pork chops to your gut, butt, and legs. Add that to the damage I did to my lung capacity, and you had a sweaty, slobbery mess working its way up the track.
I put down cigarettes, mostly because I was dating a really cute guy who hated smoking, but also because I had always meant to and now I had a good reason. I have been smoke-free now for 15 months (whoo!). I have since thanked my husband for adding years to my life. (He was the cute guy.)
I lost 10 pounds when I quit drinking, but now I had 20 pounds that won't budge. After a year of reintroducing exercise, I hadn't been able to lose an ounce. I still tried running, but my knees were ruined. Enter Pilates.
I thought Pilates was just a funny joke "workout" for people who couldn't actually work out, something for enfeebled people and rich health nuts. Well, I was enfeebled, so I decided to give it a shot and see if I could rehab my knees. (*Disclaimer* I am not a health care professional. If you have bad knees or another infirmary, talk to a doctor before doing anything I recommend, ever. Actually, always talk to a professional before ever doing anything I recommend, regardless of the subject matter. Except for cooking. You can probably trust my instructions on cooking.)
You may be wondering how paying money for weight loss fits in with this lifestyle we embraced that shouldn't have allowed me to gain a lot of weight to begin with. The answer is that I have not paid any more money to do Pilates than I have already spent.
We have a Netflix account, and Netflix already has a bunch of exercise videos that I use. You can also find a lot of exercise tapes for free on Youtube, and About.com has a variety of explanations for Pilates exercises. I own a mat (you can buy a good one for about $30.), and I already had little hand weights (3 lbs). I have been working at it for about 2 months, and I am definitely seeing results. My knees feel better than they have in years, and I am slowly losing weight. (*Disclaimer* Don't forget to talk to that doctor.) All this for way less than a gym membership. I would like one day to join a YMCA, but that's in the distant future. Until then, I will continue to work with what I have, building my knees back up to a place where I can live an active lifestyle with knees that suit my 23 years, instead of my knees aging way faster than the rest of me.
It's a bit of a digression, but since I love GK Chesterton, I leave you today with this quote from him:
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind."
Monday, August 8, 2011
Shopping for Food
Eating is a beautiful thing and, in fact, one of my very favorite things to do. But food has become kind of complicated and silly. Here are some examples of complications:
Food is becoming less sustainable. This means that the well will eventually run dry.
We consume a lot of grain, which contributes to global food crises. We buy grain at high prices that locals can't afford and remove that resource from the countries who could use it.
We are eating ourselves to death. "In the United States, chronic illnesses and health problems either wholly or partially attributable to diet represent by far the most serious threat to public health. Sixty-five percent of adults aged ≥20 y in the United States are either overweight or obese, and the estimated number of deaths ascribable to obesity is 280184 per year. More than 64 million Americans have one or more types of cardiovascular disease (CVD), which represents the leading cause of mortality (38.5% of all deaths) in the United States. [...] Cancer is the second leading cause of death (25% of all deaths) in the United States, and an estimated one-third of all cancer deaths are due to nutritional factors, including obesity." (Cordain, et al.)
So, there are many ways that we as Americans can avoid spending too much money on too much food. As a couple, Adam and I could easily spend $400 a month on groceries. (That's about what I spent in college.) That's not including dining out. We decided that's a huge amount of money, and we don't want to spend that anymore. One thing that we did is quit dining out. Here's what we do instead (on special occasions):
Go to grocery store.
Buy steaks.
Buy asparagus.
Buy baking potatoes.
Grill steak.
Sautee asparagus.
Bake potatoes.
Spend $13.
You have a nice quality steak dinner for way less than half the price of a steak dinner for two at any restaurant.
Now what might wind up happening is you might become super boring and no one wants to hang out with you because you never want to go out to eat. Solution: invite people over for dinner and games. It's more fun than you think, especially if it's this game.
We have found that this lifestyle forces us to plan things out a little better, which takes some getting used to, especially if your usual solution to every meal crisis is, "Let's go grab a bite." However, in real numbers, we spend approximately $150 a month on groceries for two people. Now, you also have to take into consideration where we buy our groceries...
...If you have an Aldi Supermarket anywhere near you, go to it. The Wikipedia link will explain the store and why it saves you a ridiculous amount of money. Shopping at an Aldi store does take some getting used to. You have to bring your own bags if you don't want your food rolling around in the back of the car or to carry it under your arms on a bike. If you forget bags, Aldi would be more than happy to give you some - at ten cents for plastic and six cents for paper. You also have to plan your diet and meals around what they have available. I have been known to go to an Aldi store for 90% of my ingredients and to a regular supermarket for the things Aldi doesn't carry. We have easily halved our grocery bill by using Aldi. A weekly trip to Aldi costs about $35. A weekly trip to a supermarket of almost any other variety costs about $60-70.
The other thing we do is eat very little meat. We can stretch a chicken breast between the two of us for a very satisfying meal. The main event is usually the vegetables and grains instead of meat. Think of meat more as a flavoring agent than the actual entree (if you eat meat at all).
I leave you with this quote from Proverbs 13:22-23:
"A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous. An unplowed field produces food for the poor, but injustice sweeps it away."
Food is becoming less sustainable. This means that the well will eventually run dry.
We consume a lot of grain, which contributes to global food crises. We buy grain at high prices that locals can't afford and remove that resource from the countries who could use it.
We are eating ourselves to death. "In the United States, chronic illnesses and health problems either wholly or partially attributable to diet represent by far the most serious threat to public health. Sixty-five percent of adults aged ≥20 y in the United States are either overweight or obese, and the estimated number of deaths ascribable to obesity is 280184 per year. More than 64 million Americans have one or more types of cardiovascular disease (CVD), which represents the leading cause of mortality (38.5% of all deaths) in the United States. [...] Cancer is the second leading cause of death (25% of all deaths) in the United States, and an estimated one-third of all cancer deaths are due to nutritional factors, including obesity." (Cordain, et al.)
So, there are many ways that we as Americans can avoid spending too much money on too much food. As a couple, Adam and I could easily spend $400 a month on groceries. (That's about what I spent in college.) That's not including dining out. We decided that's a huge amount of money, and we don't want to spend that anymore. One thing that we did is quit dining out. Here's what we do instead (on special occasions):
Go to grocery store.
Buy steaks.
Buy asparagus.
Buy baking potatoes.
Grill steak.
Sautee asparagus.
Bake potatoes.
Spend $13.
You have a nice quality steak dinner for way less than half the price of a steak dinner for two at any restaurant.
Now what might wind up happening is you might become super boring and no one wants to hang out with you because you never want to go out to eat. Solution: invite people over for dinner and games. It's more fun than you think, especially if it's this game.
We have found that this lifestyle forces us to plan things out a little better, which takes some getting used to, especially if your usual solution to every meal crisis is, "Let's go grab a bite." However, in real numbers, we spend approximately $150 a month on groceries for two people. Now, you also have to take into consideration where we buy our groceries...
...If you have an Aldi Supermarket anywhere near you, go to it. The Wikipedia link will explain the store and why it saves you a ridiculous amount of money. Shopping at an Aldi store does take some getting used to. You have to bring your own bags if you don't want your food rolling around in the back of the car or to carry it under your arms on a bike. If you forget bags, Aldi would be more than happy to give you some - at ten cents for plastic and six cents for paper. You also have to plan your diet and meals around what they have available. I have been known to go to an Aldi store for 90% of my ingredients and to a regular supermarket for the things Aldi doesn't carry. We have easily halved our grocery bill by using Aldi. A weekly trip to Aldi costs about $35. A weekly trip to a supermarket of almost any other variety costs about $60-70.
The other thing we do is eat very little meat. We can stretch a chicken breast between the two of us for a very satisfying meal. The main event is usually the vegetables and grains instead of meat. Think of meat more as a flavoring agent than the actual entree (if you eat meat at all).
If it had worked,
this is where
I would have put
a picture
of Adam
cutting
a frozen chicken
breast in half
with a hand saw.
I leave you with this quote from Proverbs 13:22-23:
"A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous. An unplowed field produces food for the poor, but injustice sweeps it away."
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Introduction
Two people that I know and love have started blogging, so I decided to give it a shot. The first person is wisemd. She is going to take Med school by storm, and she's tracking her progress for those of us who miss her terribly. The second person is my husband. He is a percussionist, drummer, and drum-line instructor. He is also a graphic artist, but he doesn't have that on his blog, I don't think. Go to his blog and be wowed. Now, both of these people have very good reasons to have blogs. Wisemd is living an interesting and fast-paced life in Med school, and she's going to be cutting stuff open and telling us all about our own gooey insides. Adam is advertising his fabulous drumming abilities for the convenience of those who wish to hire him for projects, teaching, and other exciting, drum-related activities. I, on the other hand, had to search hard for something interesting to tell about myself.
Here's what I came up with.
I am a recently married writing tutor with a love for hyphenation. My husband and I were married five and half months ago.
My husband and I have decided to embrace a life of "poverty." Let me explain in a list (I love lists almost as much as I love hyphenating.):
1. We have agreed that we need to be more aware of global poverty and the role that the United States and other Western countries have played in it.
2. We have decided to avoid spending money on stuff.
3. We have agreed to save and donate what we don't spend.
4. We have decided to change the way we eat to reflect a healthier lifestyle and a more global mindset.
5. We believe this is what Jesus wants us to do as Christians.
6. We have a lot of friends who agree with us, and we are trying to help build a community of Christians who pursue activities that have eternal profit; support each other through prayer, relationships, and other ministries; and try to get other people to join the club (love Jesus, do what we're doing, etc.).
Now, we are still trying to figure out how this works. We are trying to be guided my our moral convictions, rather than what people tell us we need (which is actually one of the biggest challenges we are facing - people telling us we're crazy, I mean, and that we need salary-based jobs with pensions and 50k a year and a house and a dog and... you get the picture). What I intend to do in this blog is to tell you what we're doing, how we're doing it, and how you can do it, too, if you were so inclined.
Our first real challenge has been to pick our battles. I would love to be able to afford fair-trade coffee. However, even though we are choosing a simplistic life of not-spending-money, we actually are still pretty poor. Also, according to this journal article, fair-trade coffee might not be all it's cracked up to be. So we should buy cheaper, less-fair-trade coffee, and send the money we save to charity. Get it? That's the kind of stuff I will try to discuss in this blog. I will also explain what it's like to be a one-car family and stay that way and what we do for entertainment, among other topics.
I will also talk about stuff like, "Raw Milk is Pretty Rad", "I Can't Find Good Local Produce", and "Do I Really Need That Skirt?" (The answer to that last one wound up being "yes." I was weak.). I will also give you "Adventures in Tutoring College-level Writing," "All About Being Married to a Philosopher Who Likes to Hit Stuff with Sticks," and "My Daddy Is Publishing His Book Soon."
If you have kept reading, cool. I will try to be interesting, but without my verbal cues and hilarious facial expressions, I'm not sure how I will accomplish that. Anyway, I leave you with this quote:
"We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise anyone who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking in ambition." ~William James (1902) (from whom the title of my blog also comes)
Here's what I came up with.
I am a recently married writing tutor with a love for hyphenation. My husband and I were married five and half months ago.
Us five and a half months ago
My husband and I have decided to embrace a life of "poverty." Let me explain in a list (I love lists almost as much as I love hyphenating.):
1. We have agreed that we need to be more aware of global poverty and the role that the United States and other Western countries have played in it.
2. We have decided to avoid spending money on stuff.
3. We have agreed to save and donate what we don't spend.
4. We have decided to change the way we eat to reflect a healthier lifestyle and a more global mindset.
5. We believe this is what Jesus wants us to do as Christians.
6. We have a lot of friends who agree with us, and we are trying to help build a community of Christians who pursue activities that have eternal profit; support each other through prayer, relationships, and other ministries; and try to get other people to join the club (love Jesus, do what we're doing, etc.).
Now, we are still trying to figure out how this works. We are trying to be guided my our moral convictions, rather than what people tell us we need (which is actually one of the biggest challenges we are facing - people telling us we're crazy, I mean, and that we need salary-based jobs with pensions and 50k a year and a house and a dog and... you get the picture). What I intend to do in this blog is to tell you what we're doing, how we're doing it, and how you can do it, too, if you were so inclined.
Our first real challenge has been to pick our battles. I would love to be able to afford fair-trade coffee. However, even though we are choosing a simplistic life of not-spending-money, we actually are still pretty poor. Also, according to this journal article, fair-trade coffee might not be all it's cracked up to be. So we should buy cheaper, less-fair-trade coffee, and send the money we save to charity. Get it? That's the kind of stuff I will try to discuss in this blog. I will also explain what it's like to be a one-car family and stay that way and what we do for entertainment, among other topics.
I will also talk about stuff like, "Raw Milk is Pretty Rad", "I Can't Find Good Local Produce", and "Do I Really Need That Skirt?" (The answer to that last one wound up being "yes." I was weak.). I will also give you "Adventures in Tutoring College-level Writing," "All About Being Married to a Philosopher Who Likes to Hit Stuff with Sticks," and "My Daddy Is Publishing His Book Soon."
If you have kept reading, cool. I will try to be interesting, but without my verbal cues and hilarious facial expressions, I'm not sure how I will accomplish that. Anyway, I leave you with this quote:
"We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise anyone who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking in ambition." ~William James (1902) (from whom the title of my blog also comes)
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